Twinkies

Hahahaha...

It's tech week for Grease!!
Lots of down time. Lots of time for curiosity.
We use twinkies in one of the scenes and obvious, since nutritional facts are my new favorite hobby, I just NEEDED to know.

Here's the scoop.
Let's start with how a Twinkie is made...
HowStuffWorks.com

Now Lets look at the Ingredients.
Literally.
Photo Source

Here's a list of what you are looking at:
Enriched Bleached Wheat Flour [Flour, Reduced Iron, B Vitamins (Niacin, Thiamine Mononitrate (B1), Riboflavin (B2), Folic Acid)], Corn Syrup, Sugar, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Water, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable and/or Animal Shortening (Soybean, Cottonseed and/or Canola Oil, Beef Fat), Whole Eggs, Dextrose. Contains 2% or Less of: Modified Corn Starch, Glucose, Leavenings (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Baking Soda, Monocalcium Phosphate), Sweet Dairy Whey, Soy Protein Isolate, Calcium and Sodium Caseinate, Salt, Mono and Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Soy Lecithin, Soy Flour, Cornstarch, Cellulose Gum, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sorbic Acid (to Retain Freshness), Yellow 5, Red 40.


That's a whopping 37 ingredients.
And it's not just an online-made-up-whatever type thing...it's word for word what's on the box of Twinkies that I am currently looking at right now.
Also, Just in case you were wondering...
It's allergens include Wheat, Egg, Milk and SoyBeans. May contain Peanuts.
And if you didn't look close enough, THEY AREN'T EVEN VEGETARIAN!
I have Highlighted Animal Shortening and beef fat for you in red.
But... your biggest concern is that it may contain peanuts... obviously.
Actually... if you are not deathly allergic to peanuts, that may be the best part about hem for you.
Because at least peanuts are real.
They only use a small amount of real eggs for the leavening process of the cake. The other what-should-be egg is replaced by monoglycerides and diglycerides.
Even the Butter is replaced by hydrogenated shortening (the bad kind of fat that clogs your arteries) which gives the cake that rich, fluffy, delicious texture and flavor... mmmm.
This is good though because it extends the shelf life... by 30 years.....
(not actually good... I was kidding... but not kidding about the shelf life... Well... I don't know if that's actually true but is a prominent rumor... and it sounds good...)
And can we talk for a second about the frosting...
Cellulose gum. Cellulose Gum can absorb 15 to 20 times its own weight in water.... (See the howstuffworks link above)
WHAT IS IT DOING IN YOUR BODY!?

And here's how that looks in terms of Nutrition Facts:

So... what am I gonna do about it?
I am going to make Organic, Gluten free, Dairy Free, Vegan Twinkies.
And I'm going to blog about it.
As soon as I get the ingredients.
I already have a recipe that I am going to modify slightly.
Hopefully they are delicious.

I also sent an email to the Hostess factory. They don't show the ingredients or nutrition facts anywhere on their website. And there is no warning anywhere saying that they are not vegetarian...
Although if you are a vegetarian and don't look at labels then you should probably start.

Moral of story: Twinkies probably won't actually save you in a zombie apocalypse. They may actually kill you. And you won't be able to run as fast if you eat one.